A New Day

Well its been a little over theree months since we first arrived, and the dusty days are wearing on and making me stronger, I am sure, in ways I can´t yet see. I still find life here to be surreal, and sometimes I get giddy when I think about the fact that I am actually here, living in Ecuador! However, life in other ways, like work, has managed to become more routine, so I pray against complacency, and for a revival of spirit and energy to give to the people I am in community with.

So OBAMA?
We were invited to the US Consulate´s party held at the Hilton Colon downtown; so fancy. There were a bunch of people from the embassy there and we got to mingle with other American volunteers who are here volunteering, mainly Peace Corps. It was a fun event to get all dressed up for, and then the excitment of having a new president was almost too much for many of the people in the group, myself included, to bear. We watched excitedly on the big screens posted around the ball room as Obama´s numbers climbed through the roof, and meanwhile we tried to stack up on every finger food that passed us. (all american delicacies, cole slaw served in shot glasses, mini hamburgers, and chicken nuggest served with toothpicks on cloth napkins). By 11 the results were clear, and many celebrations were had in the lobby, including some extending hugs and tears. All I can say is that the world felt new and golden, and my hope has been refreshed that things might actually begin to change. I pray they will. It was quite an experience being out of the country, realizing the global impact that his presidency has on the world. It was fasicnating to be part of history, the people here have been enthralled to witness a man of color come into one of the most powerful positions designated to man. I know that it gives them encouragement to keep fighting.

About life.
I still go through many days where I question why I am here, and I continually have to lean on the Lord for that answer. It is a process in living, learning to surrender my ideas of the world as God presents me with new ones that aren´t necessarily comfortable or natural for me to accept. I have been learning a lot about the faults of individualism, and as a product of a society and generation that was raised to be independent, I am learning backwards how to be humbled, to be vulnerable with my community memebers, to recogonize that what I have to give is not my own, but from the Lord, and that we have to love together, I can´t do anything alone. I have been fighting alot within myself to be less competitive with the world, to TRUST God that I am exactly where I need to be, and that I have something to contribute to the people here, and that they too have things to teach me.

My Father, who art in heaven.
I had this vision yesterday of God at the end of a rope. He is always pulling me along, but in my greed, my hands are usually reaching out to grab things as we pass by, trying to balance my own thoughts and ideas and relationships. But I saw that as I collected more stuff, I could not hold on and I let go of the rope, leaving me stuck behind. In order to hold onto God, I have to use both hands, and I have to let go of all the other things I am trying to carry, including self-importance and a sense of mission. I have to have faith that God knows everything I need, and that He will provide it for me, without making me do it on my own. That is very hard, my mind tells me that I can provide for myself, and that I know what is best for myself too. I am asking God to break down that mentality in me. I am trying to hold on with two hands.

Things you can pray for.
1. Kids at the hospital. We have one patient who has been there for 3 months and it is starting to wear on her spirit. Pray that her parents will have the gentleness she needs, and that they will be able to conitnue to fund her medical needs while they are both out of work.
2. Patience. Semillas, our afterschool program, is going through some structural changes. We are still struggling with discipline issues as a whole large group, so please pray that we conitue to serve these kids in love, even the days where we hit the ends of our ropes.
3. Assertiveness. I am a very passive person, and here I need to have a voice and stand up for things that are wrong, instead of assuming that by being silent I am being kind to everyone´s opinions. Pray that I can confront things that are not of God´s truth, and confront them with love.
4. Christian community. I am missing all my friends and spiritual leaders in the states, and although I live with 6 other individuals, we are all at very different places with God. Pray that God will continue to provide me with people who will challenge me and hold me lovingly accountable to be a disciple of the Lord. I need spiritual direction, as the idea of vocation is still looming in my thought box. It is a process that is exciting to me, and I know God will provide the advice and guidence I need to explore His calling on my life.
5. Faith. Many days I can´t see the light at the end of the tunnel, pray that I walk through the storm, in places where I cannot go in my own humaness, but can only pass into with the strength of the Holy Spirit.

Remember that God renews each of us day by day. Our indentities are moving closer into the radiant and brilliant glory of Christ; cling to that promise. I pray that your hearts and lives are well surrendered to God, that you live TRULEY, in honesty and openess with one another, and that you will lay room in your soul for the people God calls to pass through it.