Spotchy Updates

Spilling thoughts come to me as I try to recollect all the pieces of my life that have happened in these past few weeks. I will go by subject so you can skim lazily through and select those which interest you the most. Sorry for the random order and chaos of tidbits.

Birthday:

August 22, it was a lovely day in which I awoke to chocolate bread, a luxury that our house reserves only for special occasions like birthdays, or in other cases, events like today when Tracy and I hauled it down the street, sweating profusly, to catch a bus, all the while passing an entire neighborhood of shocked eyes. Missing the bus, we felt we need to be rewarded; behold, the chocolate bread. So yes, the morning started off with some warm slices of deliciousness with coffee and was followed by an amazing 2 hour reflection of our time here. Our director gave us a list of questions to reflect on, breaking down the truths that we have gathered here and how our lives have already been dramatically altered due to God´s gracious hands. It was the first long gap of time where I have been able to sit with the Lord and be, letting HIm fill me with everything I need, all that I do not know. I pray it was fruitful.

We had a few meetings after that and we went to our normal afternoon sites, mine being Semillas de Mostaza orMustard Seed, and the kids prepared cards for me and sang happy birthday in Spanish. I got lots of hugs from children with dirt scabbed hands and faces, and their joy made mine complete. One of our more troubled students, Winkie, was especially sweet on this particular day, and he asked Amy to write a note to me that said,¨Happy birthday colie. With all the love in my heart, I care for you.¨ Then he proceeded to invite me to dance at his house later on that night, since Ecuadorian birtdhays are always accompanied with dancing. We kindly said our regrets, but enjoyed the invitation for the rest of the day.

After that my friend Kasha made a delicious supper of things I don´t know how to say in english or spanish, (so yeah, super good) and we topped it off with a cake made by our dearneighbor, which I proceded to get my face shoved in, full force. mmmmm.

At night, the clincher, we went downtown to the IMAX theater, the largest one in South America, and there, full emotion, the 13 of us watched The Dark Knight, with Christian Bale´s face in IMAX size. It was amazing. Amidst girls shrieking and some of us crying and giggling in delight, we took in a piece of America there on the big screen and felt at home for a few hours.

I missed everyone back at home, but a birthday out of the country is nothing to complain about.

Work:

My job has been going well so far, each day we meet a slew of new kids who usually arrive the night before and are tired and often scared. The staff here has asked us to accompany the social worker to do some home visits, so I think that Andrew and I will be getting a deeper glimpse at the realities of the children starting next week. Everyday we have new tales to tell about life in the infectious deisease ward, and typically we spend most of dinner laughing off our incompetence and lack of knowledge about the medical world that we are suddenly a part of. Here is one such story.

The other day a small girl came into the hospital and she didn´t have any parents with her. Immediatly I took it upon myself to take care of her and begin to ask her about herself. At first she was hesitatnt, but after a few minutes she was okay and well ready to give me a dose of herself. After leaving the room for a while, I returned to find that she had spilled some water on her bed. She didn´t look like she was doing very well, so I asked her what happened. Since she didn´t reply I just said Agua, Water? she said yes, so we went on. A few minutes later she was bored and started sticking her fingers in the water and putting in on me, giggling and saying agua. I didn´t really mind, since anything that makes the kids smile is well worth any cost. This game continued for a while until the water was on my face and arms and I was about done being wet. As she moved over to start on my hair, I looked down and realized the puddle was not limited, but in fact it extend far beyond the little pool I originally saw. Glancing at where the waterfall came from I saw a dark spot reinging over her light blue overalls. I looked at her and said, Agua? No. and looking down, she, behind little brown eyes, shook her head and looked up and whispered, ashamed, pee pee. There I was, covered in urine, not sure what to do next, so unknowingly I got up to seek the help of a nurse and upon finding one, it came to me that I didn´t know the vocabulary to descirbe the situation. After serveral attempts, with no success, I proceeded to the last resort. Looking at myself and at the girls sheets, I pointed to both and said pee-pee, pee-pee. That was my lesson in humility for the day.

The hospital is slightly disorganizd, and they don´t have much for us to do yet, so we still wander around and hang out with kids, trying not to disturb the nurses that are working there. They are trying to expand us out into other areas of the hospital, so we are praying that we get to visit with more kids, and share Christ´s love with the other families who are confined in fear and anticipation of going home.

We decided, Andrew and I, that we both really want scrubs, so we had been working up the courage to ask our boss for scrubs. The day finally came last Wednesday, and after her apporval (yes!) we set out on a hunt for our comfy new work clothes. After questioning the nurses and staff, who proved to know very little about where their clothes came from, we went exploring. We ended up in a sketchy room, somewhere far burried in the hospital, with the elevator man, and another dude who came out of the closet and asked us what we wanted written on the cloth. Needless to say we didn´t find them in the hospital, but thanks to Dr. D, Andrew´s dad, we are having them mailed down to us from the states. We thought aqua green would be nice, and the next day we showed up to see a few surgical students in that exact color. oh well. When in Ecuador . . .

Community:

I haven´t really gotten to explain the people that are breathing my air and sharing my heart day in and out. I will try to trace them for you and give you an idea of their life.

My House:
Tracy- kindred spirit, warm, humble, intelligent, amazing singer, hails from Cincinnati
Gina- fun, spunky little burst of laughter, going to be an elementary teacher, from NE Ohio
Carolyn- atheltic, laid back Boston rower, caring and motherly, friend who shares my akwardness, works at Semillas with me
Amy- articulate, passionate and in-charge female power from Boston, works at Semillas too
Danny- funny, compassionate blue-eyed jokster from Milwaukee (holla) also a card shark :)
Andrew- a blend of different characters, chatty, kid at heart, honest and overall hilarious without trying to be, works with me at the hospital

Other House:
Elyse- loving, warm spirited, theologically versed and an artistic photographer, from CT
Kasha- energetic, intelligent, excellent cook and avid cleaner from Portland
Karen- wise, experienced volunteer, patient and organized, Missouri
Lauren- fun, loud and bubbly spring of life with a great laugh from Maryland
Melissa- Earnest, wonderfully quirky, and whole hearted from Minnesota, Midwest girl with the funniest sayings (Shark Bombs!)

They are beautiful people, placed at this spot in my life for specific reasons I get to spend all year exploring. I feel blessed by them daily. I could not do this alone.

God:

I am seeing Him all over the place here. The things that I have been learning recently are FAITH and REST.

Yesterday I read a reflection about how our common sense is in battle with our spiritual sense. What we know and understand cannot take the place of God´s plan in our life; that would be limiting the God that we serve. Trying to figure out the mystery of who Christ is by trying to make sense of what He asks is impossoble. So often the things that we want or feel comfortable with, are not the things which God calls us to. Therefore, recently I have been trying to live in FAITH- the tension of life, trying to surrender the ways that I seek to live in comfort or where I try to be in control of my life. At times I catch myself trying to position the world around me, the way I want it to be or think it needs to be for me to be a part in it. I am in the process of figuring out the areas of my life where God is calling me to step without knowing, what He is calling me to give up so that He can take up and work in me. Please pray for me in that.

The other thing that I have been feeling on my heart is this call to Rest. I used to see it as an invitation to do nothing, to wait and let God do everything for me so that I wouldn´t have to struggle at all. I am beginning to see the call to Rest as a call to let go of my life, to give up the people and desires I value most, so that the Lord can take hold of them. It is more a call to surrender and submit, which can be the hardest to do, but in the end God´s peace is there waiting for us, and in Him then, we can Rest. When we try to live by ourselves, without His help or strength, we walk blindly towards that which we think will fill us. It never works. When God calls us to Rest, He calls us to give up the destination we are trying to get to, in order that He may lead us to the water of life which we really crave. Rest in the Lord means to give up yourself, and that is where I am struggling now.


If anyone is looking for a good book to read I am halfway through No Man is an Island, by Thomas Merton, and it is amazing. Thanks for all your prayers and cards, they mean a lot to me.

love from below the Equator,
colie

Dios es Amor

For those of you who don´t ¨habla espanol¨ Dios es Amor means that God is love. And that is what I have found here in Duran.

I arrived in Ecuador on August 4th and we made a wonderful trip in the airport, buying up all last minute goodies that we knew we would go without for a whole year, chocolates, skittles, and yes, our last American beer. We arrived at night, the hazy lights of the city aglow and alert as we paraded our way through the dusty roads to what would become our new home. The volunteers from the past year were still in their houses we when we arrived, and for this, we acted as retreatants for the week, staying in the retreat house. We got to tour around the city, meet the neighbors, and learn how to use bottled water to brush our teeth and wash our face and cook all our food. Not as easy as you think.

The poverty here has struck me a new level. Not necessarily deeper, but perphaps more real. To give you a picture of where I live, most of the people in our neighborhood live in cane houses, containing 1 room, a shared bed and no running water. We are the exception to the rule, which can be an uncomfortable desparity to live with most days. We have a concrete house, with 8 spacious bedrooms and a large chapel area and common space. We also exist in the reality of a guarded fence, an armed guard and 2 watch dogs. Typical Ecuadorians? No.

The children in our street are beautiful, they immediatley knew our names and call to us everytime that we pass them in the streets. Most days I feel famous.

After a 2 week process of discerning our vocational callings, I felt God´s hand lead me to a place I never though I would be; a hospital. I will be working as a caseworker in the Children´s Hospital in downtown Guayaquil, a city of approx 3 million people, in the infectious disease ward, primarily with children who have been diagnosed with HIV. I have a lot to learn. Today is only my second day and already I have my first client, and a slew of beautiful children with whom I practice poor spanish on and use every facial expression in the book. One young child is 4 years old and has restricted body movement and we play ¨hormigas¨, or ants. I make my hand into creeping ants and sneak up on him and he squeals in delight as I make the ants crawl over his belly. It brings my heart joy.

I have felt much peace here, which surpirses me. In some ways I feel that I moved next door, into a world that is different but not so far away from home. I believe that it will be hard to leave this place I am starting to sink into.

To continue, I work at the hospital in the morning and then in the afternoon Rostro de Cristo runs afterschool programs in the area, so I, along with 2 of my roomies, run an educational/ developmental program for youth ages 4 to 18. Some days we have 20 kids, others there can be as many as 75. It is a little crazy, like yesterday when I tried to teach them Simon says and my bad spanish confused everyone because I was giving out wrong commands and then trying to tell kids they had to sit down? I prayed for humility and God has most certainly delivered.

I think more than anything, I feel free here, opened up to the idea of community and family and love in all things, seeing people share and give all that they have has broken pieces inside of me I didn´t know were so rigid and closed. God has been walking with me so clearly, I realize that if I came here for nothing else, it is Oneness with Him.

Thank you for all your prayers, and I will try to update you as often as I can on my adventures.
Your prayers are lovely and so much needed. I have felt them already. Praise the Lord.

xo colie

¨So to live is true wisdom.¨ -Thomas Merton